Effing Italy

Honestly, I can't put into words the visceral loathing I have for the Italian football team. It makes me want to hit an italian, very hard, in the face - with a hammer. I know this is irrational; I love Italy, I'm friends with many italians, and it's when I think of hitting them in the face (with a hammer) that I realise how absurd my feelings about their football team are. Nonetheless, all it takes is watching la forza azzurra - in all their greasy-haired, diving ignominy - for half an hour and I'm ready to pull an Atilla the Hun Alaric the Visigoth.

- Mr. Ed