Thursday, June 21, 2007
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Insomnia blogging
Greetings from a humid porch. My new favourite thing is waking up around 5 or 5:30 and not being able to sleep. No wait, actually it's really annoying. Neverthless, it does allow me time to surf the interweb. Lately, my web-time has been severly curtailed by the double whammy of having gargantuan amounts of work to do before my return to blighty, and the lack of a wifi at home. (My neighbours, who graciously allow me to use their signal, didn't pay their cable bill on time again.) But I digress, now it's time for...
Around the web with Mr. Ed!
LOOKING for the the perfect present (for me) in the $300 range? Of course you are. At over half a meter high, what super geek's life would be complete without a Lego model of the Death Star II.
STAYING with the geek theme - what do you get if you cross a plastic news presenter with a twelve year old spelling bee winner? According to Andrew Sullivan, it's the Most. Awkward. Interview. Ever. I agree, it's train-wreck compelling; a little ray of reality shining into the dark depths of cable news. (Note to CNN editors - kids this nerdy don't do sound bites.)
RACING to the opposite end of the clever spectrum, I've been following the misadventures of America's biggest blunt, Paris Hilton. This week, she got sent to prison, weaseled her way out under 'mansion arrest', and then got sent back to prison on Friday. Three cheers for American justice! The superficial says:
"she was crying through the entire process and, when Judge Michael Sauer gave his decision, she let out a huge cry and said, "This isn't right." She was then physically dragged out of the courtroom by a female deputy, in tears, screaming, "Mom, Mom, Mom."
Some witnesses say they saw a rainbow above the courtroom. And others say they saw a giant man in the clouds with a white beard nodding his head approvingly. And me? Well I saw Judge Michael Sauer grow to be twelve feet tall, with muscles the size of tree trunks. And when he smiled, little cartoon hearts appeared above my head and there was a strange tingling sensation in my pants.
NOTE: I officially nominate Judge Michael Sauer for President of the Entire Universe."
South Park featured Paris a while back - here's a must-watch clip.
ANOTHER blunt who's headed for chokey is Lewis "Scooter" Libby. Here's one of Eric Alterman's readers venting on James Carville and Mary Matalin'smash note long letter of support (page one, page two, page three) for Scooter:
"I should feel bad for James and Mary's kids? Why? Because one of Mommy's old work buddies is a lying swine? Because a jury said bad things about Uncle Scooter, who was only trying to alibi Mommy's old boss, that soulless, lycanthropic, face-shooting old mountebank? This is like some awful, malignant version of Mr. Rogers's Neighborhood Of Make Believe. Here's a tip, James -- you're as obvious a symbol of the corruption of our political elite as anyone who's more actively enabled the current administration. Take your coon-ass avuncularity and your book contracts and go whistle up a tree. Go be a TV star. That's pretty much all you're good for these days. Any Democratic politician who hereafter actively solicits either your advice or support should be assumed prima facie to be unworthy of serious consideration. Every single one of the people involved in this affair should have their public careers shattered into a million pieces, scattered to the four winds, and there should be salt poured upon the shards so they never rise again. If that screws up the kids' birthday parties, that's too bad."
Carville and Matalin have to be the oddest couple ever: he's 'the ragin' cajun', a former strategist for Bill Clinton, she's Dick Cheney's right hand girl. Talk about marriage of convenience - no matter which party is in power, they always get invited on CNN!
FINALLY, here's the funniest quote about a fat-dead-arsehole I've heard in weeks. Somone talked Christopher Hitchens into appearing on Hannity and Colmes to talk about Jerry Falwell's legacy. Chaos ensues as Hannity froths at the mouth and a languid (or just drunk?) Hitch easily puts him in his place. Just before they cut him off at the end of the interview, Hitchens manages to sneak in this remark:
"If you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox"
Watch the whole thing here.
Time for a cuppa, I fancy.
- Mr. Ed
Around the web with Mr. Ed!
LOOKING for the the perfect present (for me) in the $300 range? Of course you are. At over half a meter high, what super geek's life would be complete without a Lego model of the Death Star II.
STAYING with the geek theme - what do you get if you cross a plastic news presenter with a twelve year old spelling bee winner? According to Andrew Sullivan, it's the Most. Awkward. Interview. Ever. I agree, it's train-wreck compelling; a little ray of reality shining into the dark depths of cable news. (Note to CNN editors - kids this nerdy don't do sound bites.)
RACING to the opposite end of the clever spectrum, I've been following the misadventures of America's biggest blunt, Paris Hilton. This week, she got sent to prison, weaseled her way out under 'mansion arrest', and then got sent back to prison on Friday. Three cheers for American justice! The superficial says:
"she was crying through the entire process and, when Judge Michael Sauer gave his decision, she let out a huge cry and said, "This isn't right." She was then physically dragged out of the courtroom by a female deputy, in tears, screaming, "Mom, Mom, Mom."
Some witnesses say they saw a rainbow above the courtroom. And others say they saw a giant man in the clouds with a white beard nodding his head approvingly. And me? Well I saw Judge Michael Sauer grow to be twelve feet tall, with muscles the size of tree trunks. And when he smiled, little cartoon hearts appeared above my head and there was a strange tingling sensation in my pants.
NOTE: I officially nominate Judge Michael Sauer for President of the Entire Universe."
South Park featured Paris a while back - here's a must-watch clip.
ANOTHER blunt who's headed for chokey is Lewis "Scooter" Libby. Here's one of Eric Alterman's readers venting on James Carville and Mary Matalin's
"I should feel bad for James and Mary's kids? Why? Because one of Mommy's old work buddies is a lying swine? Because a jury said bad things about Uncle Scooter, who was only trying to alibi Mommy's old boss, that soulless, lycanthropic, face-shooting old mountebank? This is like some awful, malignant version of Mr. Rogers's Neighborhood Of Make Believe. Here's a tip, James -- you're as obvious a symbol of the corruption of our political elite as anyone who's more actively enabled the current administration. Take your coon-ass avuncularity and your book contracts and go whistle up a tree. Go be a TV star. That's pretty much all you're good for these days. Any Democratic politician who hereafter actively solicits either your advice or support should be assumed prima facie to be unworthy of serious consideration. Every single one of the people involved in this affair should have their public careers shattered into a million pieces, scattered to the four winds, and there should be salt poured upon the shards so they never rise again. If that screws up the kids' birthday parties, that's too bad."
FINALLY, here's the funniest quote about a fat-dead-arsehole I've heard in weeks. Somone talked Christopher Hitchens into appearing on Hannity and Colmes to talk about Jerry Falwell's legacy. Chaos ensues as Hannity froths at the mouth and a languid (or just drunk?) Hitch easily puts him in his place. Just before they cut him off at the end of the interview, Hitchens manages to sneak in this remark:
"If you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox"
Watch the whole thing here.
Time for a cuppa, I fancy.
- Mr. Ed
Friday, June 01, 2007
Do you like travel? Do you like trousers?
For years these two questions have seemed mutually exclusive*, but just the other day, whilst cantering up the dual-carriageway, like a lightning-bolt, it struck me (-actually I was overtaken by one of their fine vehicles). Trouser-traveller, Draylon-or-chino-based-holiday-maker, oh-woolen-pantwearing-business-passenger-with static-friction, Behold!**
*Or absolutely unrelated.
** Locations throughout Derbyshire.
- yours, betrouseredly, Bluecupboard...
*Or absolutely unrelated.
** Locations throughout Derbyshire.
- yours, betrouseredly, Bluecupboard...
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